3 It’s All About Them

That’s enough about me . . . what do you think of me?

—Bette Midler in “Beaches”

You have just come back from vacation. It was a great trip, and

you captured the highlights in some terrific photos. You want

to show the pictures to Phil, your neighbor. You’re sure he’d

love to see them. Not all 322 of them, of course, but certainly

the twelve best ones. You race over to Phil’s house and whip

them out.

It takes maybe three minutes to show Phil your best shots,

with running commentary. When you’re done, what does Phil

say? Does he say: “Hey, that looks like it was a great trip. Tell

me more.” Or maybe: “These are stunning. Have you ever

thought of getting into professional photography?”

No, he doesn’t. In the real world, what Phil says is: “Hey,

these are great. Want to see some of the pictures I took of my

kid’s birthday party last week?”

This is Phil. Your buddy. Someone who actually does

care about you and what you’ve been up to. And still, three

minutes about you and your doings was his limit.

Now suppose that instead of talking to your pal Phil,

you’re talking to a prospect who is a complete stranger. No

matter how marvelous the photos in your brochure may be,

what do you suppose that prospect’s limit is for listening to

you talk about you?

In sales, and especially in cold calling, it’s all about

THEM. It’s never about you. Prospects don’t care about you,

and they don’t care much about your company, either.

Prospects care about their own worlds, their own lives, their problems, their issues, and the fires they’re trying to put out

right now. That’s what they want to talk about. And that’s

what they will talk to you about—if you give them a reason to

talk to you at all.

Put First Things First

Customers buy from salespeople they like and trust. The question

becomes, how do you get prospects to like and trust you?

The best way to build rapport quickly is to let them talk about

things that are important to them while you listen attentively.

So put first things first. What is important to prospects?

_ Whatever their boss says is important

_ Whatever they are currently working on

_ Whatever they’re working weekends to keep up with

_ What they really like to do

_ What makes them the most mone

_ What makes them look good to their boss

_ What gets them promoted

_ What gets them home at an earlier hour

_ What gets them excited

_ What gets rid of their current headache

_ What gets the biggest pain-in-the-neck person in their

company off their back

Please notice that a few things you find fascinating are

conspicuously absent from that list:

_ Your product or service

_ Your company, its activities, and its grandeur

_ Your desire to sell something

_ You

Put like that, very few salespeople would argue with it.

But when cold calling, how many salespeople waste most or

all of the precious time available for establishing rapport by

yakking about the things on the prospect’s “don’t care” list?

Yes, you may have to take 10 or 20 seconds of a cold call (or a

letter, or an e-mail) to let the prospect know who you are, but

after that, it has to be all about them.

The Us to Them Ratio

In a typical cold call, voicemail message, or prospecting letter,

how much time should you spend talking about them and

how much should you spend talking about you? The ratio

needs to vary a bit depending on the situation, but the ideal ratio

is 90:10—90 percent about them and 10 percent about you.

In some of the best sales calls you ever made, all you said

was, “Yes, we can do that.” In the worst ones, you went on a

talking spree, and the prospect fell asleep. When the conversation

is about them, they are energized and involved. When

it’s about you, you are energized and involved. Which is more

important? (Hint: They’re the ones deciding whether to spend

the money.)

If a 90:10 ratio in favor of the prospect is simply unachievable

in your situation, at least try for 70:30. After a good

introduction, short and to the point, most of the conversation,

the letter, or the e-mail had better be about them.

TIP: Record yourself delivering the standard opening

speech you use to begin a cold call or to leave

a voicemail message. Then listen to how many

times you use the word “I.” The more you use it, the

more the focus of your message is on you. Try for

no “I’s,” and watch your success rate soar.

What About Your Support Material?

Take a look at your marketing brochures, your PowerPoint

presentations, and the marching orders you got from your

boss. Chances are, they’re all about your company, your products,

you, you, you. Time to change that, to whatever extent

you can.

Lobby your marketing department to create support material

focused on the things that prospects care about. Design

your own letters and sales pitches to center on their concerns,

not yours. Use support material that gets prospects to think

about themselves, what they are doing, and how they might be

doing it differently. Use material that prompts them to ask

questions so you have a place to start talking.

The goal behind everything you do should be to have

them pull out their vacation pictures, not ask to see yours

again. That won’t be happening anytime soon.

We will have a lot more to say about this in Part Two, and

we’ll describe a number of tools and techniques you can use

to encourage them to drag out their photos. Until then, just remember:

In prospecting, everything, always, is all about them.

That’s enough about me . . . what do you think of me?

—Bette Midler in “Beaches”

You have just come back from vacation. It was a great trip, and

you captured the highlights in some terrific photos. You want

to show the pictures to Phil, your neighbor. You’re sure he’d

love to see them. Not all 322 of them, of course, but certainly

the twelve best ones. You race over to Phil’s house and whip

them out.

It takes maybe three minutes to show Phil your best shots,

with running commentary. When you’re done, what does Phil

say? Does he say: “Hey, that looks like it was a great trip. Tell

me more.” Or maybe: “These are stunning. Have you ever

thought of getting into professional photography?”

No, he doesn’t. In the real world, what Phil says is: “Hey,

these are great. Want to see some of the pictures I took of my

kid’s birthday party last week?”

This is Phil. Your buddy. Someone who actually does

care about you and what you’ve been up to. And still, three

minutes about you and your doings was his limit.

Now suppose that instead of talking to your pal Phil,

you’re talking to a prospect who is a complete stranger. No

matter how marvelous the photos in your brochure may be,

what do you suppose that prospect’s limit is for listening to

you talk about you?

In sales, and especially in cold calling, it’s all about

THEM. It’s never about you. Prospects don’t care about you,

and they don’t care much about your company, either.

Prospects care about their own worlds, their own lives, their problems, their issues, and the fires they’re trying to put out

right now. That’s what they want to talk about. And that’s

what they will talk to you about—if you give them a reason to

talk to you at all.

Put First Things First

Customers buy from salespeople they like and trust. The question

becomes, how do you get prospects to like and trust you?

The best way to build rapport quickly is to let them talk about

things that are important to them while you listen attentively.

So put first things first. What is important to prospects?

_ Whatever their boss says is important

_ Whatever they are currently working on

_ Whatever they’re working weekends to keep up with

_ What they really like to do

_ What makes them the most mone

_ What makes them look good to their boss

_ What gets them promoted

_ What gets them home at an earlier hour

_ What gets them excited

_ What gets rid of their current headache

_ What gets the biggest pain-in-the-neck person in their

company off their back

Please notice that a few things you find fascinating are

conspicuously absent from that list:

_ Your product or service

_ Your company, its activities, and its grandeur

_ Your desire to sell something

_ You

Put like that, very few salespeople would argue with it.

But when cold calling, how many salespeople waste most or

all of the precious time available for establishing rapport by

yakking about the things on the prospect’s “don’t care” list?

Yes, you may have to take 10 or 20 seconds of a cold call (or a

letter, or an e-mail) to let the prospect know who you are, but

after that, it has to be all about them.

The Us to Them Ratio

In a typical cold call, voicemail message, or prospecting letter,

how much time should you spend talking about them and

how much should you spend talking about you? The ratio

needs to vary a bit depending on the situation, but the ideal ratio

is 90:10—90 percent about them and 10 percent about you.

In some of the best sales calls you ever made, all you said

was, “Yes, we can do that.” In the worst ones, you went on a

talking spree, and the prospect fell asleep. When the conversation

is about them, they are energized and involved. When

it’s about you, you are energized and involved. Which is more

important? (Hint: They’re the ones deciding whether to spend

the money.)

If a 90:10 ratio in favor of the prospect is simply unachievable

in your situation, at least try for 70:30. After a good

introduction, short and to the point, most of the conversation,

the letter, or the e-mail had better be about them.

TIP: Record yourself delivering the standard opening

speech you use to begin a cold call or to leave

a voicemail message. Then listen to how many

times you use the word “I.” The more you use it, the

more the focus of your message is on you. Try for

no “I’s,” and watch your success rate soar.

What About Your Support Material?

Take a look at your marketing brochures, your PowerPoint

presentations, and the marching orders you got from your

boss. Chances are, they’re all about your company, your products,

you, you, you. Time to change that, to whatever extent

you can.

Lobby your marketing department to create support material

focused on the things that prospects care about. Design

your own letters and sales pitches to center on their concerns,

not yours. Use support material that gets prospects to think

about themselves, what they are doing, and how they might be

doing it differently. Use material that prompts them to ask

questions so you have a place to start talking.

The goal behind everything you do should be to have

them pull out their vacation pictures, not ask to see yours

again. That won’t be happening anytime soon.

We will have a lot more to say about this in Part Two, and

we’ll describe a number of tools and techniques you can use

to encourage them to drag out their photos. Until then, just remember:

In prospecting, everything, always, is all about them.